::5 Ways to Help Empower Women::

Empowerment has nothing to do with jealously or competition and everything to do with genuine support and encouragement. 

It's what I was left with after an amazing event Wednesday morning. Yes. It's been months since I post on this blog, you can find me regularly on Momma of Dos. And, coincidentally enough the last post on this blog was a guest blogger by the name of Angelica Gonzalez of Latina Entrepreneur Empowerment Circle or LEEC. Today's post is about Angelica's group and the great community she is building. 

The group that morning was a small intimate size but the power and empowerment was far too big for the room we were in! Imagine Communication Coaches, Authors, Leaders, Innovators, Creators, and Women who are taking charge of their lives and redefining not only who they are but their direction. 

Women who don't take NO for an answer. Women who are waking up everyday and literally punching fear in the throat. Women who have decided that enough is enough, or that TODAY is the day. Women who may feel doubt but proceed none-the-less. 

Do you feel a tingle in your soul and a tug in your gut? 

Are you curious to know more about this group of women and how you can join them? 

Well you should! 

The ladies attending the LEEC empowerment and networking sessions are real women, Latinas and non-Latinas alike, from our community. We all live here in Houston and we want to create not only a sense of empowerment for the women we meet but a place of growth for all women in our community! 

I believe that Angelica the creator and Mastermind behind LEEC is doing just that, one session at a time, one Latina Entrepreneur at each session! 

Now 5 Ways that I feel we help Empower other Women in our community:

1. Encourage- Provide words of encouragement to those women around you and in your community. Words are so important and can mean so much. Something as simple as "You can do this!" May go a long way.... 

2. Support- As a Blogger the best support you can give me is by sharing my posts on your social media channels- sharing is caring. In the same way find out what the women around you need and support them in any way possible. 

3. Share- Share our known resources and/or information about events/workshops that other women can use to learn and grow. Like the LEEC meetings. Below is a flyer for their upcoming events!! 

4. Feedback- Provide positive, good feedback that they can use to help them improve and define what they want to do and the goals they want to reach. 

5. Network- Finally, help build their network. Invite them to events or workshops that will allow them to obtain new resources and contacts. Networking events help connect people and their talents. 

How will you help empower the women in your community? 

::Self-Love:: Guest Blogger

I rarely meet people by accident, I have never thought that people come into my life by accident. I always meet these people with purpose. I place myself in places and groups or social events that I know will allow me not only to meet the type of people who I want  in my life but to reach more people with my words both spoken and written. 

A couple of months ago Angelica reached out to me about talking business. I naturally said yes! We have connected and I know her and I have something big to come not sure what it is just yet. We did though discuss self-love. Since the month of February is not over and I have claimed it to be the LOVE month, here is a little of her thoughts on self-love and her commitment to it. 

She will also be hosting a launch event next week, really hope you can join her! You can also request to join her Facebook group so you too can connect and be involved: Latina Entrepreneurs Empowerment Circle 

Here is my interview with her on the topic of the ::Commitment of Self-love::

Her focus and drive really inspire me... She is most definitely a woman on a mission... 

Tell us a little about yourself~
I’m a mother of two wonderful children, an entrepreneur, a coach and most of all a Lover of Life. I am passionate about serving Women especially within the Latina Community.

What do you do for a living?
I am an Empowerment Coach where my mission is to Empower the Latina Community with personal growth, entrepreneurship, and Financial education. I do all of this through various platforms – workshops, 1 on 1 coaching, classes.

What is your definition of self-love?
Self-Love is the empowering feeling to love oneself without guilt, shame, embarrassment, limitations and allowing to freely nurture your mind, body, soul and soul.

How have you committed to self-love? 
I love to read so I read every day. My fifth pillar to Self-love is Education. Education = Empowerment. Knowledge is the one thing that no one can take away from you. This is my commitment to self-love. I educate myself to better serve my community plus I enrich my soul and spirit with knowledge so it becomes a win-win situation.

What plan of action do you have in 2015 that will help you establish or maintain your “self-love” commitment? 
This year my projects have increased so Self-love is more important than ever. Just knowing that I need to keep my energy up motivates me to Self-love. In fact, the projects that I am working on are aligned with my mission in life. Anything else I kindly say no. This way nothing is draining my energy.

What motivates you to keep a positive self-image and self-love when times become difficult and you feel like you can't do this anymore?
My Faith in God and the Belief in myself keeps me going when time become difficult.

What advice do you have for others to remain positive about self-love? 
Be easy on yourself! Self-love should never be a stressful activity. Start off with something small like meditating for ten minutes a day or exercise for 15 minutes and then increase your activity as days go by. Sooner or later you find that Self-love becomes a way of life not just a habit.

We all struggle daily with so many issues of self-esteem, depression, etc; what has been your favorite quote, book, movie, item, or website that has helped you keep strong and move forward?
My favorite quote is from Marianne Williamson -

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~from A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson. (excerpted from http://www.marianne.com/) 

You can reach Angelica for more information on her projects at links below:

You can find me on Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/powerofloveinstitute 
My website is http://www.powerofloveinstitute.com/
or email me at angelica@powerofloveinstitute.com.

::Vision of Love:: RECAP

::Momma Disclosure:: { This is a compensated post in collaboration with Empire Marketing & Consulting. All opinions and statements expressed below are my own and true and honest. }

I have attended several events over the past year or so, and they all create a different impact on me as an individual and on my writing.  This past week I attended the Vision of Love/Vision Board party. Arrived to a swanky location in River Oaks' West Ave complex into a room filled with people waiting to hear what they need to do to bring their "A" game to relationships. And, let me tell you, the panelist did not disappoint. The conversations became so open and real. It was so much fun. 

Each panelist had a unique perspective and as Momma I of course identified best with Crystal Wall, wife to famous Houston Rapper Paul Wall and fellow Momma of Dos {2}!  

::Vision of Love Expert Panelist included::

::Jaime Rose:: a realist, a matchmaker, and very eager woman of great success. She was very assertive and positive but very realistic.  I loved her insight as to what is needed to date these days. She stated that we need to find the male or female version of  ourselves; to some extent couples have to be similar but at the same time different. I thought this was right on! 

My Husband and I are very, very similar yet so different. We have been together for almost 15 years, married for 8 years. She also stated that we should allow a balance between the male and female roles in a relationship; as well as allow a man to be a man! Agreed, my Husband is our provider and the leader of our home but he also gives me respect and space to make the same decisions as him and I work to help provide for our family. 

::Mike Garofola:: a very eligible Bachelor here in Houston who spoke on the challenges of dating and trying to figure what women really want? He stated that love should make you feel secure and comfortable. But, we sometimes create a "vision of love" from Hollywood that just is not real! 

Which I completely agree with, true love is never perfect. 

The conversation about love turned to fitness and self-love. Mike provided some great tips to help motivate yourself on days when you really don't feel like working out or moving! 

He suggested that after you workout you should write yourself an email or a hand written note {possibly a sticky note} with what you feel like right after you work out! Usually you feel amazing and are on a high of energy and endorphin's. Writing something like "you look amazing and can totally run 5 miles!" can motivate you on days when things are not going so great and you don't feel like working out. He also said that little things such as leaving your workout clothes at a door where you will have to see them as you walk in, can also help stimulate your senses and help motivate you! 

:: Crystal Wall:: married for 10 years to Paul Wall  her advice was about growing together as a couple and as individuals. As well as being able to work together to make it all fall into place! She stated how some of her single girlfriends will tell her she is "Blessed to be married" and while it is a blessing they don't know all of the "behind the scenes" and how much work it has been to have a lasting marriage that does works!  When asked about hwo to gain self-esteem and self-love, when we have a million things to do as women, wives and mommas. Crystal replied "Let go of the million things and make yourself number 1!" She said we should "Break the cycle, get fit and be healthy!" 

No questions asked this is great advice for any busy hard working Momma. We often let go of who we are to care for our families but should really make ourselves a priority, it's not only for ourselves but for the full benefit and well-being of our families!  

Another question asked to our panelist was; "Why are women thriving more on power instead of focusing on love?" Crystal's response stood out to me; "Women are more independent these days and taking care of themselves it's easier to thrive in your career than trying to find love...because it's easier for us." As a Momma who has a career and a degree I identify with this. We have now learned to work, work, work, if I was single I don't think finding love would be a priority since I can provide for myself. But I also believe it is good to find a healthy, supportive & loving relationship. 

Then came the networking which it's always an amazing experience to meet people from all walks of life and learn about their passions and goals! This night I met several authors, which taps into my interest of writing a book and getting motivated in that direction! 

Finally, we started our Vision Boards and let me tell you it was serious business people were really putting a lot of thought into their boards and thinking about what they would put on it. I started mine as well but I need to add some things to complete it. 

It was a great event with many inspirational new connections, I can't wait for the next time we all meet! I would love to know how everyone's visions come along. The hostess and panel mediators were smart and organized it made the event so enjoyable. 

Working Outside the Home ::How to remain Calm and Work Hard::

So, you're going to be a Working Outside the Home Momma?

Let me start by saying, being a Stay-at-Home Momma is a lot of work and is not for everyone. And, in return Working Outside the Home is a lot of work and is not for everyone. Not saying one job is more difficult or better than the other. Trust me. I know.

Sometimes we go back to work because we have to, money wise. Because, we want to for personal fulfillment reasons. Or, because we just want to see what happens when we do. Some of us seek that adult interaction; you know the one where you won't end up with cheerios in your hair or play-doh on your butt or a full-fledged tantrum in aisle 2 of Target after you've denied the millionth toy from coming home with you. Well. I might have just described a regular day at the office but I digress.

One situation is not better than the other and we all have our own very personal reasons for staying home or working outside the home. Me, I have been a work all the time Momma, a Stay-at-Home Momma, and a going back to work Momma. Recently a good friend has gone from being a SAHM, to a back to Working Outside the Home Momma and she inspired me to write this.

Advice on how to remain calm & work hard outside the home and oh yeah maybe retain some sanity:

1. Ignore the Naysayers- There will be negativity around you, no matter who you are and where you go. Who knows why. Maybe others' own insecurities. Maybe they don't believe Momma's should work, who knows. But, trust in yourself and what is best for you and your family. This is your journey and only you can decide if it's for you. You can do this!

2. Your house will be a mess- When I stayed Home I had so much to do but I managed to get it all done and my house was almost always clean, so much so I got bored. Yes, it happened. These days, never. Yes, I clean the bathrooms, sweep and maybe mop but on a regular day; piles of clothes, scattered toys and tons of dishes. On rare occasions I catch up and even have down time but not really. Ever. I usually take it one day at a time, and one pile to-do a day. Don't get me wrong, it's doable to keep and maintain a tidy home, it's just not always going to be possible. And, honestly, most days it's OK.

3. Stay Organized/Have a schedule- I know you are probably thinking duh, I am a Momma I know about this. But, you really have to manage your time because you now have to cut out 8 to 10 hours (depending on your commute) of daily activities, chores or errands. Me, I wake up early and try to get as much done by 7 am as possible; like put a load of laundry in the washer or pick up toys and prep for dinner, before I head out to take the kids to daycare and then work. While at work, I sometimes take my lunch break to run my errands; like drop off clothes at the cleaners, go to the post office or pay my bills because most places are closed by 5 pm. My extra activities usually involve my blog either before work or right after, if not very late at night.

4. Take "Me" time- Whether it means scheduling a happy-hour with your new co-workers or heading out to a Zumba class after work. Some days you need to have alone time in between work and home. Anything to help you unwind from the daily stresses of a job. I used to go run and exercise after work, before I picked my kids up from daycare. If that will be an option for you then take full advantage. Some days I call my Husband and ask him to take over "pick-up duty" so I can run home and clean or blog. And, some days even nap! It helps me unwind and not feel so overwhelmed.

5. Embrace the Learning Experience- Work provides you with an opportunity to learn so many new skills as well as to meet many new people which you should take full advantage of. In a good way. Even if at the end of the day you decided that working outside the home is not for you, take in everything being taught to you and make new connections, they may help you one day outside of work. Working gives you a new sense of pride and accomplishment; when you learn new skills that you didn't think you would be capable of learning or reach your daily work goals and complete tasks. I have gained so much in my experience as an employee and supervisor. Working with a variety of people allows you to gain new levels of patience and understanding for the world around you.

6. Enjoy your kids and family- Enjoying your family time is set at a whole new level. You will actually miss them and want to spend all your extra time with them. I love just sitting on the couch cuddled up with my kids doing nothing; when they are not attacking one another or annoying me, because that will still happen. But, I enjoy it so differently. I look forward to it, I know crazy! But, it really becomes about enjoying the small and simple things and you really develop a strong appreciation for that time being spent with your family.

7. Don't Blog about your job- As a blogger; I have learned that people will find you online. You don’t ever want to post any direct work information or blog about your job. I may mention my job and call it my 8-5 but, many people have no clue where I work or what I do outside of my writing. This for me is perfect. And, vice versa unless you want your co-workers in your business you shouldn't mention that you blog, unless it’s directly related to your job. My co-workers have NO clue that I blog. I have been at my job almost 2 years and I have no need to tell them my outside life and really don’t think they would get it. It’s totally unrelated.

8. Ask for help- If needed, ask for the extra help. I will sometimes recruit younger cousins and my Sister-in-Law to help pick up the kids from daycare or help me watch them while I get home from work or get dinner ready. Inviting people over for dinner that can help watch the kids while you cook is always a plus. Or in our case, we have at some point asked for help with the housekeeping, usually my Aunt. We've also asked my In-laws to watch the kids to get things like the groceries and some Hubby/Wife time in. It’s so good and helpful!

9. Be Patient- Be patient with your new journey, your new schedule and yourself. Learning new skills after some time away can be frustrating but you will get there. Give yourself some time. Time will do wonders, you won’t be perfect day one, and if you are, well then you deserve a major raise! Take notes and know that starting anything new is challenging but once you get over the initial part of getting used to it all; I am sure you will be great at your job and succeed in your new adventure.

10. Leave work at work-I cannot stress this enough. Your kids and Hubby might want to hear all the great new stories and about all your awesome new co-workers but after a while these may become more of a stressor. I often found myself nagging about work when we had a million and one things to worry about at home. You really don’t want to bring "work" home with you and in return, leave your home life and problems at home. Trust me its best.

11. Don't be discouraged- Working outside the home is not for everyone. It takes a lot of sacrifices and time lost with your family, children and other Stay-at-Home Momma's but for me it's been a rewarding experience of learning and new friendships. At the end of the day, it may not be for you, and you know what, THAT'S OK! You will not know this until you give it a good chance. You will at the end of the day know what is best for you and your family.

12. Be reminded of why you decided to start working- For me it was sense of freedom from my house and the same routine, a sense of self and accomplishment to help provide for my family and because I decided that being at home was not for me. You will have your own reasons and that should be motivation enough to keep you going. Your reasons are your own personal feelings, not why everyone else thinks you should work.

13. Do not be intimidated- Everyone started somewhere, you cannot allow others to intimidate you. Work is like every other new thing you try in life; trial and error. No one started out at your job on top. Everyone has to have been where you are now and if you do encounter work place bullies, well you need to stand up for yourself from day one, if not it will turn into a not so nice work environment. I tell you this from experience. Life is too short to be miserable at work. Trust me; life is too short to be miserable at work.

14. Do not overwhelm yourself - You will NOT learn it all in one day, you might not learn it all in one week. Time, patience and perseverance. Don’t give up but, don’t feel like you have to learn it all in one day. Take it one day at a time, one lesson at a time and remain organized at work. Taking notes and paying attention pays off. If you overwhelm yourself you might have a brain shutdown which at times causes you to learn less. Or even become frustrated and feel as if you can’t learn it. But, I assure you, you can and you will.

15. Do not be overly critical of yourself- I know that I tend to be extra hard on myself, especially when I feel that I am not learning something fast enough. But relax, take a deep breath and keep calm, you will learn it all and you will be awesome at your new job. Don’t doubt your skills, don’t doubt yourself. Nothing comes without struggle and some sacrifices, those victories are much sweeter!

At the end of the day, the same rules apply whether you are working outside the home or staying at home, if something doesn't get done today; then it can just get done tomorrow! Unless it's really important than it should be done today. Just saying...

If you are seeking further motivation please visit our Facebook Page for resources, events and networking:  https://www.facebook.com/latinamommainhouston