Let me
start by saying, being a Stay-at-Home Momma is a lot of work and is not for
everyone. And, in return Working Outside the Home is a lot of work and is not
for everyone. Not saying one job is more difficult or better than the other.
Trust me. I know.
Sometimes we go back to work because we have to, money wise. Because, we want to
for personal fulfillment reasons. Or, because we just want to see what happens
when we do. Some of us seek that adult interaction; you know the one where you
won't end up with cheerios in your hair or play-doh on your butt or a full-fledged
tantrum in aisle 2 of Target after you've denied the millionth toy from coming
home with you. Well. I might have just described a regular day at the office
but I digress.
One situation is not better than the other and we all have our own very
personal reasons for staying home or working outside the home. Me, I have been
a work all the time Momma, a Stay-at-Home Momma, and a going back to work
Momma. Recently a good friend has gone from being a SAHM, to a back to Working
Outside the Home Momma and she inspired me to write this.
Advice on how to remain calm & work hard outside the home and oh yeah maybe retain
some sanity:
1. Ignore the Naysayers- There will be negativity around you, no matter who you
are and where you go. Who knows why. Maybe others' own insecurities. Maybe they
don't believe Momma's should work, who knows. But, trust in yourself and what
is best for you and your family. This is your journey and only you can decide
if it's for you. You can do this!
2. Your house will be a mess- When I stayed Home I had so much to do but I
managed to get it all done and my house was almost always clean, so much so I
got bored. Yes, it happened. These days, never. Yes, I clean the bathrooms,
sweep and maybe mop but on a regular day; piles of clothes, scattered toys and
tons of dishes. On rare occasions I catch up and even have down time but not
really. Ever. I usually take it one day at a time, and one pile to-do a day.
Don't get me wrong, it's doable to keep and maintain a tidy home, it's just not
always going to be possible. And, honestly, most days it's OK.
3. Stay Organized/Have a schedule- I know you are probably thinking duh, I am a
Momma I know about this. But, you really have to manage your time because you
now have to cut out 8 to 10 hours (depending on your commute) of daily
activities, chores or errands. Me, I wake up early and try to get as much done
by 7 am as possible; like put a load of laundry in the washer or pick up toys
and prep for dinner, before I head out to take the kids to daycare and then
work. While at work, I sometimes take my lunch break to run my errands; like
drop off clothes at the cleaners, go to the post office or pay my bills because
most places are closed by 5 pm. My extra activities usually involve my blog
either before work or right after, if not very late at night.
4. Take "Me" time- Whether it means scheduling a happy-hour with your
new co-workers or heading out to a Zumba class after work. Some days you need
to have alone time in between work and home. Anything to help you unwind from
the daily stresses of a job. I used to go run and exercise after work, before I
picked my kids up from daycare. If that will be an option for you then take
full advantage. Some days I call my Husband and ask him to take over
"pick-up duty" so I can run home and clean or blog. And, some days
even nap! It helps me unwind and not feel so overwhelmed.
5. Embrace the Learning Experience- Work provides you with an opportunity to
learn so many new skills as well as to meet many new people which you should
take full advantage of. In a good way. Even if at the end of the day you
decided that working outside the home is not for you, take in everything being
taught to you and make new connections, they may help you one day outside of
work. Working gives you a new sense of pride and accomplishment; when you learn
new skills that you didn't think you would be capable of learning or reach your
daily work goals and complete tasks. I have gained so much in my experience as
an employee and supervisor. Working with a variety of people allows you to gain
new levels of patience and understanding for the world around you.
6. Enjoy your kids and family- Enjoying your family time is set at a whole new
level. You will actually miss them and want to spend all your extra time with
them. I love just sitting on the couch cuddled up with my kids doing nothing;
when they are not attacking one another or annoying me, because that will still
happen. But, I enjoy it so differently. I look forward to it, I know crazy!
But, it really becomes about enjoying the small and simple things and you
really develop a strong appreciation for that time being spent with your
family.
7. Don't Blog about your job- As a blogger; I have learned that people will
find you online. You don’t ever want to post any direct work information or
blog about your job. I may mention my job and call it my 8-5 but, many people
have no clue where I work or what I do outside of my writing. This for me is perfect.
And, vice versa unless you want your co-workers in your business you shouldn't
mention that you blog, unless it’s directly related to your job. My co-workers
have NO clue that I blog. I have been at my job almost 2 years and I have no
need to tell them my outside life and really don’t think they would get it.
It’s totally unrelated.
8. Ask for help- If needed, ask for the extra help. I will sometimes recruit
younger cousins and my Sister-in-Law to help pick up the kids from daycare or
help me watch them while I get home from work or get dinner ready. Inviting
people over for dinner that can help watch the kids while you cook is always a
plus. Or in our case, we have at some point asked for help with the
housekeeping, usually my Aunt. We've also asked my In-laws to watch the kids to
get things like the groceries and some Hubby/Wife time in. It’s so good and
helpful!
9. Be Patient- Be patient with your new journey, your new schedule and
yourself. Learning new skills after some time away can be frustrating but you
will get there. Give yourself some time. Time will do wonders, you won’t be
perfect day one, and if you are, well then you deserve a major raise! Take
notes and know that starting anything new is challenging but once you get over
the initial part of getting used to it all; I am sure you will be great at your
job and succeed in your new adventure.
10. Leave work at work-I cannot stress this enough. Your kids and Hubby might
want to hear all the great new stories and about all your awesome new co-workers
but after a while these may become more of a stressor. I often found myself
nagging about work when we had a million and one things to worry about at home.
You really don’t want to bring "work" home with you and in return,
leave your home life and problems at home. Trust me its best.
11. Don't be discouraged- Working outside the home is not for everyone. It
takes a lot of sacrifices and time lost with your family, children and other
Stay-at-Home Momma's but for me it's been a rewarding experience of learning
and new friendships. At the end of the day, it may not be for you, and you know
what, THAT'S OK! You will not know this until you give it a good chance. You
will at the end of the day know what is best for you and your family.
12. Be reminded of why you decided to start working- For me it was sense of
freedom from my house and the same routine, a sense of self and accomplishment
to help provide for my family and because I decided that being at home was not
for me. You will have your own reasons and that should be motivation enough to
keep you going. Your reasons are your own personal feelings, not why everyone
else thinks you should work.
13. Do not be intimidated- Everyone started somewhere, you cannot allow others
to intimidate you. Work is like every other new thing you try in life; trial
and error. No one started out at your job on top. Everyone has to have been
where you are now and if you do encounter work place bullies, well you need to
stand up for yourself from day one, if not it will turn into a not so nice work
environment. I tell you this from experience. Life is too short to be miserable
at work. Trust me; life is too short to be miserable at work.
14. Do not overwhelm yourself - You will NOT learn it all in one day, you might
not learn it all in one week. Time, patience and perseverance. Don’t give up
but, don’t feel like you have to learn it all in one day. Take it one day at a
time, one lesson at a time and remain organized at work. Taking notes and
paying attention pays off. If you overwhelm yourself you might have a brain
shutdown which at times causes you to learn less. Or even become frustrated and
feel as if you can’t learn it. But, I assure you, you can and you will.
15. Do not be overly critical of yourself- I know that I tend to be extra hard
on myself, especially when I feel that I am not learning something fast enough.
But relax, take a deep breath and keep calm, you will learn it all and you will
be awesome at your new job. Don’t doubt your skills, don’t doubt yourself.
Nothing comes without struggle and some sacrifices, those victories are much
sweeter!
At the end of the day, the same rules apply whether you are working outside the
home or staying at home, if something doesn't get done today; then it can just
get done tomorrow! Unless it's really important than it should be done today.
Just saying...
